Yelp! Cupcake Commando

Honestly, I don't know how I find the things I find online. I just click a few times and I'm onto a page that sets off my twisted humor meter and before you can say, "Cupcakes for everyone!" (it'll make sense in a minute...maybe) I'm blogging about it.

Stray Thought:
I should count my lucky stars that I don't end up on questionable Internet sites. In fact, I can't explain how or why I DON'T land in the hellish fetish-oriented joints set up to lull unsuspecting Web surfers into XXX sites. I end up on innocuous product review pages or other spots where a turn of phrase jumps off the screen at me and my mind (the aforementioned home of twisted humor -- AND ramblings, did I mention ramblings?) goes hurtling down a slippery slope, careening headlong into a flakey snowbank of randomness. *sigh*

Tonight's escapade started out after reading a blog about Jelly Belly jellybeans...here is the link to Lost Button Studio's post about Belly Flops. If anyone reading finds themselves in San Jose, CA, I would love it if you brought me back some Belly Flops. Clever merchandising gets me every time.

So I tried to find other food items that fit a similar bill. And I ended up at Yelp!

That's where I stumbled across the very funny reviews of "Cupcake Commando" Kristina R. of San Francisco, CA.
She used a writing device in her review of Boulevard Cafe that made me laugh out loud: the classic "double asterisk entendre." It's a lie. Oh, ha ha ha!

Cupcake Commando's entry titled Asian People appealed to the rebel and the writer in me. The writing was succinct and the wit, dry and biting. Here's is what she said:

Ah, you Yelpers amuse me.
When the revolution comes, you shall be spared.
Except you (pointing)...you're just annoying.

Next came her shopping review of a store called Kawaii Corner. Nothing exceptional here except at the bottom, she used a word I've only heard one other person use in my lifetime. The person is fyrlocc and the word is blarg. I love this word! Kudos to you, Cupcake Commando!

Her next two reviews sealed the deal for me. Please, go and read them. They are so funny!

Curry House
I was really able to visualize the waiter with a defibrillator and the tiny life rafts she described. Oh, ha ha ha! She gets style points for the pop culture reference to the 70's sitcom Laverne & Shirley. Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated!

And the piece de resistance... Gelayo Gusto .
I definitely didn't eat enough ice cream in my twenties.